Confessions of a reader

I have a confession to make: I read obituaries. The unfortunate reality is that I often find names I recognize. So many, in fact, that I keep a stash of sympathy cards in my drawer at home. I've seen realtives of friends, my own friends and other people I've known throughout life. I wouldn't call it curiosity anymore, now I feel like it's an obligation to my friends and family to stay abreast of these events so that I may extend my condolances at any given moment. It's always shocking to see infants and young children in the obituaries. It frightens me, in fact. The thought of losing a child, or even my spouse is gutwrenching. Far too many people in the obituaries are young; in their 20's, 30's and 40's. Often I find myself reading an obituary of a 90 year old person thinking "they lived 30 years longer than my mom, or 40 years longer than my dad". Then again it's equally sad to say "they lived 20 years less than...". I don't know when our number will come up, but can only hope that my own children are not faced with the same reality. I hope they can say "my parents lived 40 years longer than..." and I truly hope that my own children live long happy lives as well. I guess reading the obituaries helps me to maintain perspective. Perspective that life is long for some and short for others. Not knowing which will be our own fate, we should live life daily and to it's fullest. No matter what our fate may be, we will never live long enough.


The idea of death haunts many people, rightfully so. Ironically enough it's the greatest unknown of life. We are constantly haunted by those we loved who've passed on before. Unspoken words haunt us daily. The grim reality is that nothing can change the past and once our loved ones have passed on, we no longer have the luxery of speaking to them face to face. We never know if they hear our words or feel our pain. There is no acknowledgement of anything from our loved ones. We are only left alone, feeling isolated. We combat this isolation by focusing on our family; our children, spouse and other living relatives. Protectionism permits us only to truly love those closest to us; our remaining immediate family. It's easier to hold on to those who, we feel certain, will outlive ourselves while focusing on our own health in order to allow us as many years on Earth as possible. So this week I say a prayer of thanks for my family, hope for those who've gone before and those I still hold close in my arms and pray that someday the haunts of my previously departed can let me rest.